I had wanted to call this body appreciation post,or apology with a cool accompaniment. Buddy is all we have for now so buddy goes.
I realised she likes me when I added a decade to the one I had. I had never given her the much attention until I realised she was all I had. She didn’t demand or get dramatic at it. She quietly watched me mess with her. All she ever did was respond appropriately. One of the greatest lessons she’s given me this year is you lose to gain. She never allows room for a vacuum. I have also noted how spontaneous she is in her responses. I get back what I give to her. While writing this Lil Wayne’s Mirror on the wall bang at the back of my mind. I am talking about the girl in the mirror.
2020 has been heavy for a whole lot of reasons. But it has brought it’s fair share of opportunities too. I didn’t earn much to say the least but I learnt much. All this learning need me to give an apology to empress.
I apologize for putting you in paths I could clearly have avoided.
I apologize for holding back when I had chances to let it all out.
I apologize for putting pressure on you over things I didn’t need.
I apologize for breaking rules we agreed to live by and defend fiercely.
I apologize for stocking bad vibes when I had trash option.
I apologize for the bruises,cuts,unwarranted harm,debts,lies,torture,trauma that I exposed you too.
Most importantly,forgive me for taking in people I shouldn’t have looked their way.
In making all this apologies I don’t intend to align them to resolutions or anything of that kind. I just want to ease my heart and remind me that my greatest enemy has never been an outside source. This also helps me keep tabs and feel responsible over my body. This body that talks.
Cruising through sapphire(2020 diary) I noticed many credits less rebuke. Apologies ma’. Great to have you as mine and for being the truest human angel I know. My full heart wishes you a happy new year.