Updates

It has been a month long tops of not checking up on my loves here.,soooo whats up good people. Love and light your way,in your journeys and thoughts. So i have been busy doing life lazily and hazily, getting angry at the things i cannot change and hoping to change quick those that i can change. I must say it has been tough, some of these habits are atomic and somewhat etched to mu existance. Again love and light is all i wish for.

An old friend dropped by to say hello and stayed a while longer than a couple of days.i am glad she did.

I am feeling that intuitive reckon closeby lately.

I am out of shape for most of my favourite things.

Made sad by the one thing that makes me happy.

Ovwewhelmed by my position in peoples lives. If i died today love would be the strongest i have ever been.

Too much pain from what started as a basic wound.

Bad long day on a merry day.

My delta

Me and kids

Well i promise a good read for all the above listings.
L.L.

Intentional

Hello and welcome to my blog. I want to say it’s been a minute but that would be a petty lie,a girl will not knowingly book a slot to litcity( hell) over a minute misconduct. It has been a month of no activity in here. My sincerest apology to myself for failing a consistenct test for the (lost count) longest time.

I was having a random conversation with a long lost friend. It is at this point that i wish to state that most of my writs are prompted by randomness. So while conversing,catching up and seasoning with a few disses, she mentions how i am such a people’s pleaser. I am pleased she’s frank and bold at noting that. I am the type to put up a front of defense except when the opinion cannot be supported by facts worthy of my attention. This allegation is one of such exceptions. There and then we talked at length about a couple of things save for my people pleasing habit.

I love people and i thrive in love. This typecof living has been mistaken a number of times. Trying to explain it to guarded type of people will sound like a desperate card of validation. I mentioned to my long lost friend how I am readily available to most if not all my friends how i want. I don’t easily cancel my plans for anyone. If i dont have a very kind answer i will not pick your call. If i see no need to explain i will not return a message or a missed call. I have no business saving your number if we cannot talk on the daily. I have no business texting back a guy more than thrice unless we making transactions or my heart is getting involved.

That was such a diary moment that leads to this: in all your interactions,be intentional. Say it with your chest. Its a trait that saves you a lot. Even when you’re misunderstood prolly because of packaging or general assumptions,be intentional. Have yourself an intentional time of year loves.

Best shot

I take this ball of life,

And walk every other time,

Few times when I shoot,

It’s that same spot of shame

The game was supposed to be fun,

They promised something bigger,

Now the only big thing on line

Is the hurt amounting from

All the hours of workouts

And hauled insults from coaches

And disappointments of average

That sit still on my throat at night

One last effort toward elite,

One last thrust towards being seen

Not to worry,

My best game is in days to come

And I will note with much grace

I had so much potential in many other disciplines

But that buzzer was not my best shot

Choosing basketball over all other balls

Is the best shot i ever made,I’ll say.

Game over

Been up and about

Switching poles and roles

Calls and balls

From a pitch to court

To yet another court

My heart has been on the line

One too many times

My mind on a run

One two,many times

Rests and involuntary quits

Many many times

The coachs voice runs hoarse

My thoughts grow cold

My effort,stale

My psych, gone

Best that isnt enough…

But i know tgat prize

I know that catch

Been around for a while

I know my way around,out too

The best is yet to come

For every rebound,inbound

Shot,miss,

Every whistle

Is a step closer;

To game over.

Period stories

Basketball has rewarded me with a compact crowd for my story. My basketball family is always willing and available for interviews and meaningful conversations. Thanks fam.

In a past event not so long ago,i asked a number of my boys what the price of sanitary towels was and a good number of tge youngings gave me an estimate far off tge real price. Clearly,they have hardly ever bought any them selves. I questioned about what an ideal period package would contain. Here they did perform quite commendably. Oh about what to do in the presence of a pmsing sister lover friend. How they gave me a laugh.

Tginking about it later however my heart aches at how ill informed our good boys are. This however is no ones fault really,heres why..

Manual

If i pay you a visit

I take time before getting in

Cos i like to stand out

If youre in my company

Fret not

I will give you work

I am a bold mess

A hot mess

Gracefully broken

Tested and refined

I am that unwilling student

The universe keeps picking on

On good days i make right guesses

Otger days i bunk classes

And skip pricey lessons

I sure wish we all had a manual

It would be easier to understand

How far the stringing can go.

Congratulations on marriage

Come ye all

From today on

Call her by my name

Call her my own

Come ye all

From today on

Shes my home

I put a ring on her

Raise kids with her

Be thee witnesses

Of this great love

Dear priest,i agree

To treat her nice

Be thine her peace

Only death cant i stop

From coming between us

Tgey all clap and cheer

Celebrating newest couple

Who seal it all in a kiss

How then do I face this same crowd

And tell them I have dropped your name

How do I tell our kids

That the love we shared has expired

How do I convince my folks

That the good son left me

How will I tell my mother

That vumilia got me crying most nights

And that our matrimonial bed

Held me and four otger ladies

How do I tell my dad

That the son that took me from him legally

Has dropped the law from his title

That he threw me out of eden

And stripped me off his name

So when you say congratulations on my marriage,

especially on my wedding day,tell me about the worst

Tge good have I well seen,

In operas and books,movies and lies from boyfriends of my youth.

Say congratulations,say it true.

Way home

I will preach to my daughter

A gospel of plenty and love

Of truth and grace

I will teach her to be kind

To hold back insults only

To speak her mind always

To forgive easy and let go

To believe in good

While totally aware of evil

To believe but still reason

To try even when she wants to cry

To thrive against most odds,be fly

They say home is where the heart is

I’ll teach her to find the way home

And no matter how bad it is,her heart

should find peace,be at home

Sometime last week, I needed find purpose. My expenditure was way out of my hands. I was heavy on my debit card with no inflow to my credit card. Nothing seemed to be in the right alignment. Oh save for my workouts which on the flop side were way too heavy. My good guy had insisted i shouldn’t go home. I still went because I am stubborn like that. I found peace in that loving and said a small prayer; Lord I pray that it never gets to a time when I cannot find my way home.

Most broken hearts in one

I took my good friend to his good friend

And the night was long

From all the catching up on booze

And a few puffs.

The girls there had a place in the kitchen

I hear mother say the kitchen is the heart of a home

Here they talked matters of the heart

Mine was silent and full so it went to sleep

Next day I took a stroll to see my boys

And kept my phone far away

Not because i didbt want interruptions

But because none would call anyway,cut the weight

They say communication is key

Not quite clear to which door

I keep keys to padlocks

I have long lost

So this particular evening my hearts is heavy

All the girls assembled in the kitchen

Making a meal, another walks in

From her appearance and narratiins

Her hearts haevy too

The men are calm and composed

Culprits responsible for these heavy hearts

That night was unusually cold

So many broken hearts under one roof

Running

I walk everyday in the Lord,that’s how I stay fit. I am glad you smiled. I am an athlete that doubles up as a fitness enthusiast.I sell training apparel,so you know that the passion is rooted. My goal today is to inspire my great readers to run.

Long strides and some speed have always made me fast.Outside the track and court,I am always on the run. You too. The chase is continual and ends only at death. That is the run I am here for.Fret not,you need not buy the apparel just yet.

Most Christians are eulogized by that famous Paul verse,Finished the race and Kept the faith…
What are you running from?
What are you running to?
Why are you on the run?

Running has always been my first instinct. Little wonder though why i haven’t ran away from home ever. But there are a couple of things and people that i ran away from. Some races were mandatory and noncommital* others were unnecessary. But even those that were not really necessary kept me in shape,win-win.

I have missed the starting gun a whole loads of times,pulled out from one two many races,took some runs that weren’t meant for me. I raise a toast however to all the races I have taken part in. To the ones to come i hope i will remember to carry water.

See how athletes get ready for a race? That’s how we should be. In constant practice and embrace all races that come our way with a competitive heart.
All the best in your consequent runs. If you don’t bag the trophy,please stay in the race to the end.

Diary of a friend

There,
The friend in deed
The one who put you in need
Cared not if you didn’t feed

Hurry,
Lets head out of town,
Bring your sorrows in stories
No fuss,bills are paid

Here
Take a sip and more
A toast to years with nothing to show
Drown your troubles in the gin

Buddy,
They take vids of your wasted self
With a running mouth and bad behaviour
Sleep g,till next week on end

Sad
How the week is heavy on you
With bills pending,no food
Yet the weekend was lit,litter is the one ahead

Funny
Now you have a few coins
For the new formation coming
And a health failing,a life falling

Make the world a better place

I am sorry I had to use that cliché. But I promise you won’t regret reading this till the end. Here’s a master plan lifted from a masterclass of a psychologist guru; ignore the weight. There’s no guru and no plan,just a writer with a big heart and height to match. In one brief statement however,here’s how to make the world a better place,love then laugh till you cry.

That last word,cry,baby cry, is what prompted this writ. When a child is born,the first thing it ever does is cry. I have been to a maternity ward and around maternity stories for a good while to confirm this. A child is considered normal if s/he cries. Those that do not cry are spanked till when they cry. I have theories which explain this phenomenon which I insist are personal much but I will share them here anyways.1.The air out here is cold and weird
2. The faces around it are busy and not necessarily cute
3. Play ground was small but cute in the inside
I could go on but that would make me divert much.

When the baby grows to a certain age they are taught not to cry. Sometimes soothed with pleasantries and promises that would make them stop crying. Then they become young adults whose truest show of bravery is holding back tears. I believe in tears being an outlet. If you hold them back there’s something you may be messing with in the inside. Tears are among the most vulnerable of all human expressions. Much later in life,those who step easy may seek a therapists opinion on loss,failure or traumas. While opening up the tears flow willingly.

Why then can’t we be open to ourselves and allow some good eye cleaning,raisimg up kids who are not afraid of crying. I know you know somebody who won’t give something or someone else a chance because of how it hurt the first time. Just cry. The world would be a better place if we cried a lot more. Cry today.

Limits

Most of the limits I/we have ,are set by us. Save an otherwise opinion on the next breathe you will take. My most favourite trouble or rather limit is jeans. They act like a strict mom,shouting from across the room with an object flying already,”get back here. ” So now my humble hips,shy peach and quite vibrant cellulites cannot head out. Oh! The thighland too,we can only behold the mightiness in length. They keep nagging my nice knees on every step,bend or swing. When I sit,they summon all annoyance to show up and irritate my already infuriated knees. In just an hour,we will be free,I say to myself . I can’t go all out in jeans,matter of fact I won’t even go out in jeans .

I came first

God made man first

He had a reason

Beyond our best

Why mamas wasn’t in the picture

And when He made a woman

Man was fast asleep

So before any man gets a mamas

He needs to be Alone

Then he’ll warrant a helper

To each,enough grace

To bear with what is beyond us

And to men more

To stay put till in the garden he puts

An Eve to help and accompany

But not once ever judge

Cos He came first.

Love story

I love stories. I have stories. I love love stories. I have love stories. Here’s to me. For writing my first love story. I am glad it has a picture with it too. That heart shape is my love story.

I do not like doing laundry. That area within the heart shape,the skin has been severed by laundry. Perhaps the detergent was too strong for my hands. I am done scouting for what would be favourable. But it gave me a basis.

I love the story on my hands. How delicate it is. Yet still looks strong and has a strong grip. I love the story on my hands. That got damaged after a good course. I have a story on my hands. Of hurting but still soldiering on.

If I had a tattoo,it wouldn’t wash away. And it word hurt. My hands don’t need that. They need me to be as gentle as I can. Even without the ink,my hands tell a love story.

Period stories

I am the type of girl,the small fraction that doesn’t walk around with sanitary towels. I lost count of the number of times I have had my periods show up when, I am away from home and I didn’t carry with me not a leaf of pads.

One time I was sleeping over at a friends place. This place wasn’t really hers. Her brother had travelled upcountry and left her as custodian over the house. She then invited the clan over to cook and drink because that’s what comrades do. My mood was sky high. The night was beautiful. Then we slept. I woke up still feeling excited . I had white tights on. Then the soldiers knocked. I woke up the host see if she could have a piece,nothing. No luck in searching the house because this is a Bach pad. I rush out to see if I could bump into a lady on the stairs,any lady to save my day,zilch. I pace all the way up to the rooftop,then downstairs still nothing. Then I decide this is it. By this time my white tights are stained a great deal. I woke one of the guys up,he was kind enough to get me pads. I have no idea how menses switch up gears once you pad up.

The next random time was recent . I was out with a love of my life. Of course I have many loves,many lives,welcome to my feline world. Then I felt a rushing wind on my under belly . I rushed out and redid the drill. Pace downstairs,see if you can bump into a lady then borrow her pads. Luckily I found one washing by her door. She gave me two pieces. What stood out about her was how she handed the pads to me. She had folded her hands and held it behind her back. Immediately she handed it over to me,I ruined her mission of top secrecy. I held it nicely and she appeared a little uncomfortable about it. Well sorry ma’am. There’s nothing shameful about my periods. I thanked her and left. I met up boys on the stairs who looked at my hands,my face back and forth. I flashed a smile and walked on. I would love to note importantly that there has been no one time when I borrowed a pad from a lady,or heard a lady borrow pads and she’s given a negative answer. If she happens to be in a group at a public space and her clique doesn’t have a single person with spare,they all set out to get her a piece. Bless up Eves.

Aha,this one..so I leave training and head home fatigued from all the practice. I pass by a shop then remember I don’t have sanitary towels and its almost end month. Since I didn’t have hard cash,I opted to pay via mobile cash. There was a pack of guys at the shop but I didn’t mind. While still paying up,the shopkeeper (a guy )handed me the pads. I didn’t see. So one guy carelessly notes ungemfungia ameogopa–wrap it up, she’s embarrassed. That cannot be me. I carried my goodie by hand all the way home.

To most men,ladies are embarrassed about periods. Which isn’t much of a lie honestly speaking. Just not me,I am bleeding and proud of it. The only thing I am hiding is my WhatsApp status. Grace pon y’all that you may learn to bleed proudly.

Kneestory

When I get on my knees nice things happen. If the choice was mine to make or maybe take my church would have only worship songs. Mostly altar calls. Aha! The good book says it too.. And my Fathers house shall be called the house of worship. If that’s all we did,we would be compelled to kneel throughout the service. Yours truly is a terrible dancer,anything that saves me the trouble of rhythmic moves is a gold mine.

Not so many years ago,on a Valentine’s day, I played a one on one matchup game with the then love of my life. For the record this had been tradition since my taste buds scream ballers. I have had two loves of my life,both ballers and both had this pick up game treat. Welcome to my feline world. It’s important that I note that this was entirely their idea which I embraced without a tinge of doubt. The first one,godhelpme,rolls eyes vigorously, I was naïve in life,love and basketball of course I lost in the last two. The first option means a chance to always explore so– life’s for the living and I am alive– let’s binge this season called growing up. The second Valentine’s day game, I was ,well a little bit taller and I had known how to do one two. He was first to score notsoeasy baskets because yours truly is never afraid of fouling.

My check chance came.,yours truly driving to the basket recklessly recklessly then I step on heavy duty or meet head on,not quite clear but how I landed was such a mess. Thinking about it three years later I still cringe. My knees which are usually bruised all over and have dominant scars from my very playful junior years was scratched severely. For a day or two I couldn’t walk,sleeping was hard too. I am glad he didn’t scratch my heart like that,well at least not then.

To date,I still struggle with any kind of bending that would want my knees active. But when I get on them,great things happen.,irregardless of the scars

Period stories

Growing up,I had this perfect picture of periods crafted in my mind.In the ads for sanitary towels,magazines and educative pamphlets,periods looked alot like a normal time in a ladies life. Kenyan ads on sanitary towels had ladies dancing while showcasing their pad brands. I dont understand why in this age and time they still make periods look like a beautiful girlie moment in a ladies life. I have been around so many girls in my life to confidently say thats no time to dance. My face is usually an active volcano,my sheet messy,my skin dry and crappy. Dont try to recommend a lotion brand that could work because i have a feeling i wont be able to stand its smell when in my ps.

I also thought periods are that one week lived on a red note.The entire ovulation period is a puzzle. The first week of ovulation is usually the last week of another( a fraction of it). First week means getting your stuff together one two liners then commando all the way. Then theres the second week which doubles up as mid ovulation nothing much happens you might forget youre a lady.Third week is the ghetto. You may be slow one two cravings and some the breakouts show up. All gail fourth week of all moods flailing,cramping,bloating and tgen tge rains. All this all year long…i now understand why man had to sleep when God was making a woman. God doubles up as the greatest artist. Most artists make masterpieces in private.

In a nutshell periods last four weeks.

No cap

I have had so many instances and mood when I wanted to write,I needed to write but I still didn’t. Other times the motivation was certain,the ideas flowing and words just right and I didn’t write. I hope by putting this down,I can get over that bad trait once and for all.

Yours,

Viv

One of such weeks

I have had one of such weeks where lots of strings are pulling you down. When your supplies in most areas of your life run low,including those that cannot be seen. You’re constantly wanting and needing as our human nature permits.Such is life. But this last week was heavy to a point of looming desperation. My work out schedule was not up to date,debtors switching up on me,boyfriend’s confessions which are debate worthy,classes on a random bounce. TGIF,daddy bought me wine.,cheers…

Hide,seek

In the thirtieth minute into the game they still are looking for one person. It’s getting late,almost night fall. Soon mothers and elder sisters will come calling. Those who won’t are almost certain of a serious whooping that awaits them when they get home. They have to call it something,guess they’ll call it a day. […]

Hide,seek

Concrete angel

On that day,He took mud

Made man a helper,

He didn’t have a manual,

Of the strong back,

Solid full heart,

A face firm and beautiful,

On that day she took the first blame

When the good man voiced:

The woman you gave me,

It been like that over the ages

With sons brothers lovers husbands and fathers,

The women are tagged tightly,

To that which they didn’t do much of,

They take up the blame with much grace,

Long live the concrete angels.

May be

I have kept a brother waiting and watching,like he is discipled

I have kept another beeping in sounds of a nordic guru who is off key

Yet another bluffing about how I glow in dreams of his forever

The worst believes that rejection happens to the best of them

I fell out with my favourite boy,our paths did not agree

Everyone that tries to take up his place oversteps

Anyone that attempts to make me happy like that is a faceless clown

Now i have answers best suited for the suitors

Wait and watch,may day hey day hay day will come

Alittle louder and some translation would give meaning to your sound

Wake up brother dreams are valid away from our beds

Sometimes things are the way they are black o’ white

To all these notes,maybe I will be your baby

Maybe..

#5

I am every woman..in my next life I’ll live in a ravenhurst or a raven nest and have Whitney’s voice coupled up with Dolly’s spirit. Experts say Whitney had aced her art so much that even when she skipped or missed a key you either wouldn’t notice or she would pick up another and musk gracefully. March on..

I listened to Sarah Jakes preaching that resonated much to the message in this song. As a matter of fact I feel it should be played on the background whilst the summon gets on.

If Eve,the good woman and our first mother wouldn’t have eaten the accursed fruit we would be out in a beach wilding never having to worry about bills. We all would be vegans and with abs maybe. My vibrant mind is eloquent in pointing out the much we are missing out all thanks to the good woman. In the spirit of girl stuff and talk, I need to connect with Eve in an interview and see what really drove her. I have seen spiritual feminists put up a front in her defense that maybe she was hypnotized or framed and a lot other baseless angles. In her sermon Sarah said she too has questions for Eve. I know you too won’t lack a thing or two to ask her. The good woman takes all the blame for human suffering,typical of most moms nowadays, her back must hurt.

We like to identify and associate ourselves with the good things in life. We speak of having Esther’s kind of favour,Naomi’s insistence,Hannah’s diligence,being a proverbs 31 wife and that thing ladies praise in the queen of Sheba. So many themes are drawn from the above during women’s conferences and ladies proclaim the same .What about the good first mother? Not much. We don’t realise that we are so much like her. In our judgements,we are always revealing an unhealed part of ourselves and yes we are Eve. We have had so many moments where we knew better,were in a position to do better and whether deliberately or not didn’t do better,that’s Eve.

Alexa, play me some I am every woman. When we take up the good roles let’s not forget how our human nature can fail us terribly. Difference is with Eve her one misjudgement construed to generations later across the world and mine/yours may have one two only to bear. She aborted,she cheats,she’s alcoholic don’t judge because sis you’re sinning differently and yes you’re every woman Eve.

Nothing hard about how Hurd loves M

Chasing after you without a run

Yet in another pursuit

We couldn’t catch the sun before it set

We got so close,I could feel it

Then it withdrew the glam

And hid behind a cloud

When we got to the cloud

She wasn’t there, not even a print

Then all our playlists made sense

All the things terse by day

Come alive when she hides

When she rises again,well try again

To catch her or our dreams,or a picture with both

*Our dreams are a glass of wine against the golden curtain with a reflection of both on a pool

#4

So much behind schedule but well we here..Today’s pick is Alessia Cara’s Scars to your beautiful. I personally find the vocal chords in this song exuding a vibe of reckon making the song sound like a beautiful chant for ladies.

My own tale on this would be a perfect example of the magic in this powerful chant. The year was even and so was a lot of things around me. I met a boy,I loved a boy and was hurt by the boy. Yours truly was so much soaked in the chaos of a heartbreak and failed to realise the bloom of flowers around,the smell of rain and the thrill in her existence. I wish this story had a heroic turn where a girl is saved from her self in a perfect happily ever after telltale. My bestie who most of the people around me thought had eyes on me at that time sent me that song. I had my own very sad playlist on YT so it took me time before I gave this one an ear.

I listened to it dutifully like it was some anthem or a piece to be performed as a recital. The entire song is game_..she’s worthy of that beauty goes deeper than the surface_ this is what the class marches on with today. Regardless of the voices around and within, You’re totally worthy baby girl.

#3

Three little birds sat on my window
And they told me I don’t need to worry
Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet
Little girls, double-dutch on the concrete
Maybe sometimes we got it wrong, but it’s all right
The more things seems to change, the more they stay the same
Ooh, don’t you hesitate
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans
I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely
Sipping tea in a bar by the road side
(Just relax, just relax)
Don’t you let those other boys fool you
Gotta love that Afro hairdo
Maybe sometimes we feel afraid, but it’s all right
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change
Don’t you think it’s strange?
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans
I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
Just more than I could take
Pity for pity’s sake
Some nights kept me awake
I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realize that you don’t even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans
I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans
I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
Ooh, you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Your favourite girl as voted by absolutely no one is marching on with you through this month. With songs for a girl to charge on and lyrics to keep at heart. Today’s pick is girl get your record on by**. We get it you was hurt,betrayed,lied to,cheated on and all those other bad things that should be punishable in a court of law(karma court is overworking) but girl get up and walk. And Jesus said …little girl walk. Sorry boys we’ll talk about the widow’s son next month. Girl, get UUP.

#2 Marching on

She’s been there, god knows she’s been there
She has seen and done it all
She’s a woman, she knows how to dish it out or take it all
Her heart’s as soft as feathers, still she weathers stormy skies
And she’s a sparrow when she’s broken
But she’s an eagle when she flies
A kaleidoscope of colours, you can toss her round and round
You can keep her in your vision, but you never keep her down
She’s a lover, she’s a mother, she’s a friend and she’s a wife
And she’s a sparrow when she’s broken
But she’s an eagle when she flies
Gentle as the sweet magnolia, strong as steel her faith and pride
She’s an everlasting shoulder, she’s a leading post of life
She hurts deep, and when she weeps, she’s just as fragile as a child
And she’s a sparrow when she’s broken
But she’s an eagle when she flies
She’s a sparrow when she’s broken
But she’s an eagle when she flies
Oh, bless her, Lord
She’s an eagle when she flies

I am consistent with my loving to Dolly Parton. I find her voice musical in conversations and angelic in singing. When I thought about what to write about women she was all over my mind. I had to make her calm down and not start with her lest I get tempted to write about her songs all through. Fast forward to this great piece she put up many years back. Strength of a woman is more than just a mantra for feminists. First teachers are mostly women. I am really itching to talk about the struggle they put up with but hey,raise a glass for those warriors. Sisters mamas,aunts,girlfriends,wives y’all are phenomenal and beyond.

Marching on

Hello March,

As we march on trying to match what could make sense and unmatching what’s not in our scope of reason and nerves,yours truly serves you a women’s exclusive. This being the month that sits Women’s day,by the power vested on me by absolutely no one, I declare this a women’s month. I have always wanted a prompt.,not that I won’t talk about period stories though. March on as we talk about issues girls ladies women in songs.

My girl Marren Morris takes us on that first wave with Girl. This is a song that speaks to a girl downtrodden to rise. It emphasizes on holding your head up and keeping your shine alive. It further brings to our attention that we all could grow and glow without interfering with each others spaces and halos.

Your crown don’t fit in my head

It’s a little too heavy to the sides

The spikes on it are a little too sharp

It’s kind of glitter isn’t my favourite

Not that I hate how you Queen

I don’t have to like it either

But that don’t block your sun

That don’t block your shine

We all have crowns anyway.

Thriving differently

My favourite lyrics has to be ..draw your comparisons,trying to find who’s lesser than.,I don’t wanna wear your crown, there’s enough to go around..

Girl get up and that halo vibrant.

A call to Mukono

Bread tastes better

The air is cleaner

Water is fresher

People friendlier

..tales of home

I grew up fast

And with such an insatiable

Appetite for finer things

I know boundaries can’t keep me

No matter how serene home feels

I always want to feel the breeze

Steps away from my cot

Maybe in my own cottage

Yearn for the house that built me

But still wilding and mastering

Arts and crafts beyond mama’s

One such moment,

One hot afternoon,

I make a call to Mukono

In a chase for something

Something to master.

The stain strain

We all the same but boy every period is different. The variation ranges from cramping to flow to moods and that I believe is what makes our differences special. We can talk about the science behind all the afore mentioned but yours truly is no specialist. Allow me to feed you with the much I have,generously, stories.

Any time I have a conversation around matters reproductive health,I feel sparked and graced with ideas to explore in writing. However, I have never gotten to the bold point of talking about period stains. They are very random. It is this randomness that make it touchy. I am okay with telling a lady to embrace the stain and change up but truth is it’s not easy. Any period time could be stain time,especially if you use sanitary towels. Ladies become very cautious about the stain. You get up and ask a random lady check if I have stained,hoping you haven’t. In case of a stain,the dictionary meaning of panic doesn’t really house how it feels. You’re at loss of how you’ll get a clean cloth to change without announcing to those around you that you have mapped your dress. Bless you soul,if the place is public…

I had a photoshoot one time. I wanted to look like a bukusu moana . Face check,hair check and to the main event,the dress cheque cheque. Everyday is a thighs day for me,bank that. In a nutshell,yours truly looked great .Peach dress by the beach. The shoot went well till when we had to wait for the sun to set. My patience was well checked too. Upon getting up,I had mapped big time. I had a black dress which I quickly changed to and forgot about serving thighs.

I strained to have the stain off the dress. Not literal. That dress is always stained to my eyes. The bomb pictures we took before the wait will be a great reminder.

Bv!

This is it

I was 14 and in form 2. My twin gazelles Chia and Shia as perky as most of my classmates but comparatively small .I was not bothered about it,insecurity is a faraway place I am yet to explore, especially on things I have no much power over. This kind of esteem has been a part of me ever since I could spell it correctly.

Most ladies,if not all,in my class had already premiered their red days. I was bothered just a little. This one fine morning after assembly I felt a heavy rush on my lower abdomen. No pain,no negative mood just one excited teen with a hurricane on that place now I hear them call baby pouch. I had waited for so long for my periods and somehow given up the wait. I rushed to the dormitory to pick a tissue,then I picked a sanitary towel too. In event that this hurricane happens to be the reds,thy servant is ready. Launch whatever you have.

Of course it was them. It had to be them. I changed my sanitary towel prudently after every two hours that day out of sheer excitement. I was finally a member of the pack. To date, I have never found a word for how that first time made me feel. What ensued was yet another close to six months wait which I was made to understand is totally okay. Every period catches me like that.,the rushing wind,the assumption then finally the guests.

I know nobody writes about periods like this. Plain,without facts just stories but folks this is it.

Bien venue!

Period series

I have had a whole load of ideas over what I can write about reproductive health. This productive idea was birthed during the quarantine days. I tried doing stories on the same over voice recordings to be lined in as podcasts then.. Here we are. I wrote to a media personality about the same too. My intention of saying these and the much I am about to add is to emphasize that I am a reproductive health enthusiast. Most established writers advice against overly diversifying your writing in the initial stages. It chokes your creativity they say. I guess I took that over diverse pill especially on this particular area of interest. I have been torn between covering it from ladies side then it hit me the men’s reproductive health is as virgin as it could ever get. It only gets audience in behind the door discussions with medical practitioners after thorough coercion from a close relation mostly of my gender. I thought of taking that angle and nailing the entrepreneurial dream of zero competition. Then the conflict of having it tackled from a backseat left perspective as a lady arose. Writing period stories that ain’t necessarily mine would guarantee content day in day out. Only limitation would be my willingness to write. I officially want to declare that I’ll be all out on this one. Multi faceted approach. We’ll kick out with mainly period stories from both sides of the divide then progress to any other that will arise along the way. Forgive me if I derail and tell stories about food.

Bien venue!

Puppy love

I will tell my baby girl about kisses when her boobs start to itch. I’ll tell her about the magic on her nips and areola. If she’s a lot like me I’ll tell her to expect a lot of madness but accept none of it. I’ll tell her to keep her head high,because it can’t ever get any worse. I’ll make her understand that rainy days are for planting seeds of love which sustain you through and through. Seeds of love need no garden,tools or expertise. They need nothing to grow,they just grow. I’ll need my daughter to know that she’s a child of love and should therefore never feel deprived of love or loved less for whichever the reason. I’ll be the kind of mom that makes her say affirmations in the morning. Once again relive my dad’s country tunes love and play Kenny –my dearest Kenny Rodgers –If you wanna find love,go looking at home. I’ll play this song so many times till when she learns to sing it by heart.

My current read is rarasaur mtgwritter Damian,Lilian the home poet and long reads. I have been doing my most on WordPress readership. Of course I have a hard copy that prompted this writ,Chicken soup for sports fan’s souls. I am reading it as a sports person trying to understand the fan’s perspective of the game and how they handle their balls in wins and in losses. It has unlocked the not so happy ending side of story telling but I still struggle to put it down.

I learnt that parents always want to relive fond memories through their children both the good ones and the otherwise. This otherwise is home for insecurity,traumas,regrets and wishes. In my initial years as a player I had vowed to make my kids like and play basketball. Luck on a girl who wrote this on sand,I take it back. I still insist on going out with ballers though.

My first boyfriend wasn’t a baller. He was nothing like sporty. He mentioned severally that he plays hockey. That is a lie I let him get away with just because. . Cute. Very cute,not the beholders kind of cute,actual overload of good features,save for height. He was as tall as my 14 year old self. We will talk some other day about how I tower over him now. He talked to me nicely, took my number and proceeded to text me later in the night. I shared a cell phone with my elder sister at that time so me and my good guy had agreed to remain as discrete as possible. I didn’t know I was falling for him until I was a good while away and couldn’t find my way back basically because I didn’t want to get back. The spark in my eyes,cheer in my smile,longing in my voice a girl was utterly smitten. Then we kissed..then we kissed again till the days when we stopped over absolutely nothing. That’s what I call faded.

Now I hope Mia likes dog’s. See my daughter already has a name,Mia. I’ll get her a puppy to love and to hold. It’s from this puppy that I’ll teach her about love. Puppy love for a puppy. Then she’ll grow with the love or the lesson. Both would be nice though. I want her to keep love alive even when it’s faded. I am running out of words and space to say.,just so she may not be damaged early like me.

Rant

In the last couple of weeks I have had my esteem tossed and turned. It’s beginning to sound a lot like 2019. First it was the industrial attachment issue.,I don’t understand why a company would turn down a willing,vibrant and fresh pair of helping hand. The whole fracas of interview, dress code and strict code of conduct to an employee you will not be paying is uncalled for. They give you a taste of what after school feel like if you devote fully to the system. All systems are bound to experience some jamming and the tarmacking for attachment is just a pinch from the main heap. Don’t get me wrong though I still keep keys which have long outlived there purposes. Keys to padlocks that don’t exist. Maybe one of them could unlock the mystery door that education is. Just maybe.

I have had my eyes on several prospects,from news agencies to radio and TV station to corporate organizations. To no avail because I am not well connected.,very sad. The few that offer to help and sound kind of genuine have a catch to it. As always the name of the game is expectation. Small village girl who wants to take the world by its lapels.

Away from the attachment fuss solidly stand the love of my life,basketball. You see that thing you love,you’ve given it so much power. Power to move,power to hurt too. I just said it,hurt, the most fluent emotion. After a week and a half of serious training at the basketball camp,there’s the icing serving. The big girls are headed to a camp in a resort close to the beach, away from town and yes there’s a little pocket money. AAll this perks your girl is left out just because..

It triggered thought of the things I have been losing in the recent past provoking a sense of not good enough. A voice of despair whispers not good enough..I sleep on it.

Then I remember we lose to gain but this girl Vivian loses good things for way better ones. Staying hopeful all day.

Before anything

Eat first

This is among my highest ranked rules. It’s unwritten because I believe it goes without saying. I see intestines and get a formed opinion about slimy sauce. Here’s a list of the times you should eat first..

  • Your girlfriend has sent you the we need to talk text,eat. Not grabbing a snack,eat.
  • Your boyfriend sounds a lot like in a foul mood and he’s coming to meet up,sis eat first
  • You have a confrontation with a partner,neighbour,nemesis eat before hand
  • You have a deal awaiting to be signed,or a big interview that could amount to a partnership,eat
  • You need to make a serious change in space or shift,eat
  • The list goes on cos you need to always eat first. An empty stomach harbours a lot it shouldn’t. Of course I’ll say my sick joke: so that you can stomach whatever comes